In January, my hubby and I decided that now was the time to look for our own place again. We have been living with his parents for some time now and it just felt like time. It’s been amazing to live with my in-laws as they help out a lot with the kids. Especially the oldest who is autistic.
With both of our day jobs remote and work from anywhere, we decided to move to Missouri were housing is cheap right now. We found a beautiful little home that is just perfect for us. We are excited to make this big leap. Moving from Utah to Missouri is a huge step but one we are excited for.
One thing that comes with it is packing. So much to do! We started packing before we even found our house because we knew we would find something. We traveled to Missouri a few weeks ago and we searched for our new home. It came down to two beautiful home in different cities. But once we saw the second of the two, we knew it was home and placed an offer that night.
While we don’t close until the middle of March, we are busy getting ready for the big jump. So the house is in chaos and we are starting to live bare essentials. you would think 5 weeks would be enough time to get ready, but it feels like not enough. Besides packing, there is cleaning to do and walls to patch. My in-laws are getting ready to paint and update some rooms we currently occupy so I want to leave it ready to paint, and carpet for them.
This brings up something else for me. As I have stated in earlier posts. I suffer from depression and anxiety. That of course has shown up. With the chaos in the house and the feeling of being overwhelmed, my anxiety started to rise. It also doesn’t help that sometimes it gets worth with change in hormones. Sorry guys but it’s true. For a woman, things can go upside down with the change in hormones. Sometimes all I can do is weather the storm and keep moving until I am balanced again.
With working solely from home now, it has given me more time for my writing. Problem is… I’m stuck! All the emotions of frustrations and sadness. The book I am writing has a message of depression. One of my characters have already told me she is going to deal with it. While that isn’t a problem, knowing what happens and how the books goes is. I know where the book needs to go but what happens between the beginning and the ending is still missing in action. So, while I figure it out, I have been working on my characters. It’s been fun to dive into these characters. Some I have already developed and one, his situation has changed so I get to rediscover him all over again.
Oh, the adventures of writing. I have thought about working on another project while I figure out my current one, but it just doesn’t seem right. It will all come together in the right way when it is time. The book that is coming out took me 3 years with multiple rewrites to get it just right. The second half of the book is different than what I had plotted. Yes, I am a plotter but when needed, I do become a pantser. Those are the times the story really moves through me and some amazing things can happen from it.
Why am I writing about my writing. It’s because it is one of my coping strategies. It’s a way for me to weather the storm of mental illness and recover faster or be able to process it better. I remember a time my writing coach talked about a time they did writing courses in an addict recovery program. How it transformed their recovery was amazing. There is power to writing, even if you never intend to get published. There is power in arts, music, and physical movement too.
What’s important when struggling mentally is to find a good and safe coping strategy or strategies. Sometimes your go to, doesn’t work and you need backups. Some that I use are, gaming, writing, meditating, or binge watching something. There was one time I was so down in darkness that it got real and scary. I choose to write what I was feeling. What came out was powerful and when I am ready, I will share that with everyone. For now, it’s a work-in-progress.
Another thing that has really helped me within the last year is my spiritual journey. About a year ago I took a new path for myself spiritually. It has been a journey and has been amazing. While I will keep my path privately, I will share that finding yourself spiritually, no matter what path you take, can be amazing for your mental wellbeing. I feel like I have found myself through my journey and it has brought me peace while before, there was uncertainty and some chaos as I had to discover the right path for me.
Take away: Acknowledge you are struggling and take action to keep yourself safe and to rise above the darkness of what is consuming your mind. It can be hard but living it worth it. Times have been hard and many now suffer from mental illness when they didn’t before. It can be scary but know that there are people out there who can help you. Find a good doctor and therapist. They are the first people in your support team. Don’t be afraid to get help. That is how you start to heal.
Recent Comments